Hilarious Dental Appointment: A Comedy of Mishaps

Posted byNancy HomlitasPosted inDental, Health, Uncategorized, VirtuesTags:, , , , , , , , , ,
Woman biting a red apple at a fall market stall with apples and pumpkins
A wide-eyed woman waiting for a dental procedure. AI-generated image.
AI-generated image

To protect privacy, names and identifying details have been changed. Hyperbole is used for narrative effects.

I walked into the dentist’s office, taking deep breaths to calm a racing heart. My hypersensitive molar needed a crown. How can pulverizing a tooth to a stump not hurt? The visit became surreal when my imagination ran wild. What if everything that could go wrong did?

As I slid into the chair, my head exploded into prayer.

An older woman in a dental chair, clasping her hands in prayer while the dentist and nurse reassure her.
“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” (Psalm 56:3, NIV) AI-generated image.

Heidi, the dental technician, apologized for rescheduling my morning appointment to an afternoon one. “That’s okay,” I said. “I hoped for a cancellation, but I appreciated the stay of execution.”

Heidi chuckled, but she’d soon wish my appointment had been canceled.

Her long black ponytail swung forward as she leaned in to apply putty to my upper teeth for an impression. The putty smelled like a clay pot and tasted like cold bologna. The odor wafted up my nose, triggering a craving for mustard.

Dr. Jaykle, a highly respected dentist in the midpoint of his career, entered the room while reviewing my chart. Heidi handed him the mold. He glanced over at me, pulled down his glasses, and smiled, “I’m sorry for being late.”

“That’s okay. I hoped you would be,” I said.

Dr. Jaykle and Heidi laughed.

Then Dr. Jaykle picked up a syringe resembling a turkey baster. “We don’t like our patients to be uncomfortable,” he said as the gigantic needle found its drop zone. Heidi whacked my arm so I wouldn’t notice the harpoon stuck in my gums.

While the lidocaine worked its magic, Dr. Jaykle left. As we waited, I voiced concerns about my high saliva output.

“It’s a challenge to swallow when my mouth is filled with dental devices and human appendages. Drowning is a possibility.”

Heidi looked bewildered, so I elaborated, “Once I yawned in church, and before covering my mouth, I squirted the guy’s jacket in front of me. When I gasped in horror, I squirted the hymnal like a fire hose without a shut-off valve.”

Before Heidi could respond, Dr. Jaykle returned. He instructed me to tell him if I felt discomfort during the procedure. I said I’d raise my hand, but added, “I wore a red shirt in case blood spurts out.”

“Nancy, no blood is going to spurt out,” he assured me while attacking my molar with some kind of pickaxe. My hand shot up, almost yanking my arm out of its socket.

Large sculpture of a cracked molar on a stand next to several dental instruments. AI-generated image.
“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the LORD…“ (Jeremiah 30:17) AI-generated image.

He gave me another dose of lidocaine. But as soon as he began grinding again, the pain zapped me like a cattle prod. I winced without raising my hand. Two doses should have left me a doped-up, drooling mess.

“Are you in pain?” he asked. “You’re supposed to tell me when you feel pain.”

“If you’re almost done, I’ll tolerate it.” Actually, I hoped to lose consciousness.

“I’ve just started, Nancy,” Dr. Jaykle told me. “A lot of filing has to be done to prepare your molar for a crown.” My brain heard, “Muahahaha!”

He questioned whether a crown would even be possible without first doing a root canal. “There’s a crack that spirals down the middle of your molar, does a pirouette, and jigsaws to the back of it.”

Hesitating, he asked if I wanted another shot of lidocaine, emphasizing he rarely had to give anyone three. Immediately, I replied, “Yes, shoot me up!”

With my head transformed into a potato, I thought Dr. Jaykle asked if I felt like a plant yet. So, I said, “Well, yeah, I’m easing into a vegetative state.”

While waiting, he examined the health of my gums with something as sharp as a stiletto blade. “I don’t see any blood,” Dr. Jaykle pointed out to Heidi. He jabbed me again and again, transitioning me into a living, breathing, hyperventilating voodoo doll.

“Nope, not one drop,” Heidi confirmed.

They didn’t see any blood because of my red shirt.

The dentist’s probing hands pushed my upper and lower jaws further apart. A Georgia peach could’ve fit in there. But he still insisted, “Open your mouth wider!”

Then the horror show began.

A wide-eyed woman waiting for a dental procedure. AI-generated image.
“Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.” (Proverbs 13:3) AI-generated image.

When he resumed the pulverization process, the bone-chilling cold had subsided enough for him to finish. Heidi removed the saliva vac, and Dr. Jaykle pulled out the stump grinder. My fears eased as I shut my super-sized mouth.

Next, he applied some resin cement to the temporary crown and pressed it onto the stump. Unfortunately, the resin squeezed out and hardened like craggy concrete on several of my teeth. To strip away the construction-like debris, he chiseled it, chipped it, sanded it, yanked it, and scraped it.

Then he gave a mighty pull and wrenched out the protective film stuck between the temporary crown and the adjoining molar. My eyes must have gotten as wide as saucers because he immediately assured me, “I’m not extracting your teeth!” Another yank removed the resin-encrusted temporary crown.

“Good grief, this cement REALLY loves your teeth,” Dr. Jaykle said. When I flinched, he stressed, “It’s only plastic, Nancy. That’s all it is.” Well, the plastic shards flew through the air like shrapnel. We needed hard hats.

“Something landed in my eye,” I said while reaching my hand toward my face. Like a hawk swooping down for prey, Heidi snatched my arm in midair. As Dr. Jaykle held my eye open, Heidi squirted a steady stream of eyewash into it to flush out a chunk of plastic concrete.

After cleaning the temporary crown, Dr. Jaykle pressed it back onto my stump. This time, the film separating the temporary crown and molar slid out perfectly. But the crown was a little long. He filed it multiple times and had me bite down on the articulating paper to check. It still required adjusting.

They were an hour and fifteen minutes behind schedule, and the technician left to prep the next patient. Before Dr Jaykle joined her, he called an assistant, “Rosa, see if you can make this tooth fit.”

Rosa scraped more of the dried resin off my teeth, my tongue, and my eyebrows. She didn’t have a fancy headlamp, so it took a while. Then she fine-tuned the temporary crown until it fit comfortably.

“You do pretty well without a light bulb in the center of your head,” I commented.

Rosa grinned as she walked me to the front desk. She scheduled an appointment to replace my temporary crown with a permanent porcelain one.

Before I left, Dr. Jaykle came over with my chart. He opened a folder, scribbled some notes, slapped it on the counter, and said, “This was the appointment from hell.”

I’m sorry, but I laughed with half of my face.

A woman smiling broadly with a bruised left eye and swollen left side of her face. AI-generated image.
“O LORD my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” (Psalm 30:2) AI-generated image.

When I relaxed and got a grip on reality, the mishaps struck me as hilarious. Unless you’re Jesus, mistakes happen. People, products, and tools aren’t perfect, especially when treating a challenging patient like me. But not everything that could go wrong did. After all, I’m not dead.

Enter your email address below to receive new blog posts in your inbox

PLEASE SHARE

Published by Nancy Homlitas

The stories and photographs I share are meant to brighten moods and spawn smiles. There's nothing more hilarious than a true experience, especially in hindsight! And there's nothing more uplifting than a pleasing picture, particularly if it enhances a story. As a feel good bonus, blog posts will include relevant bible verses.

42 thoughts on “Hilarious Dental Appointment: A Comedy of Mishaps”

    1. Thanks for sharing a laugh with me, Dana. I’m with you-I DREAD going to the dentist even though they’re wonderfully accommodating. It’s stressful and requires lots of prayers! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  2. 😀 i loved this Nancy. everytime I think about the dentist, there is a part of me that wants it to not be a thought borne of an emergency, but one borne of maintenance – like how we take care of our cars and our yards.

    but still, the sight of a needle going into your mouth quickly dispels those comparisons LOL.

    i am glad it all worked out Nancy. may we all have better dental health and may more dentists use the twilight happy gas 🙂 Mike

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I think I’m a good candidate for Laughing Gas, Michael. For future dental visits, I’ll certainly ask about it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and letting me know you enjoyed the post. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  4. Considering I have a serious dislike of all things dentistry, I really enjoyed this story Nancy. It had me in moments of hysterical mirth as I read of your misfortune. Thank you for sharing it with us and brightening our day.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I’m so glad you got some belly laughs out of my comical dental mishaps, Alan. I understand you haven’t been feeling well lately, so I’m pleased you were amused. Laughter is the best medicine! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply

      1. Thank you for your perceptiveness Nancy 😉 Please pray for me as I go to hospital for a scan of my kidney (I only have one) with regards to my recent illness. God bless you and your family today 🙏

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

        1. You’re welcome, Alan. I’ll continue to include you and Susan in my daily prayers and also pray that you are blessed with improved health. Take care, Alan. God bless you and your family. 🙂

          Like

          Reply

  6. Thanks for relating your dental experiences Nancy. 😬 I’ve had something similar done a few weeks ago and I came out with a swelled cheek like the funny picture of the lady on your blog! Do they not give you big glasses to wear to protect your eyes? Yes, a visit to the dentist requires much prior prayer! I feel like an awful coward when a dental appointment is on the horizon. 🫣

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I’m sorry to learn about your not-so-fun trip to the dentist’s, Elizabeth. I’m occasionally given protective glasses when they’re doing certain procedures, but apparently they weren’t expecting to do a major excavating job! I agree-prayers are the best thing to get us through our fears. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. I kidded around during the procedure to ease my anxiety and lighten the mood. But when they worked in my mouth and I was unable to talk, I was praying! The swap of my temporary crown with a permanent one went smoothly-or I would have written about it! Haha! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    2. Thank you for your kind words, Bridget. Fortunately, the technician had the saliva vac working overtime in my mouth, so any drooling was minimized. I’m glad you were amused by my story and I appreciate your comment. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

    1. Thank you, Raymond. I do have a very good dentist (despite the comedy of mishaps during that one visit) whom I trust. When I was younger, I had a dentist who wasn’t trustworthy, so I can empathize with your sentiments. I appreciate your compliment. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  11. Yikes ! what an ordeal for you – believe me, I sympathize. ‘Hilarious’ and ‘dental appointment’ are words I have never said in the same breath. I had so much time in the chairs of my dentist and endodontist over the years that I think I could have bought them a boat !. .
    But once something happened with a root canal that made the endodontist laugh – (but not me).
    I got a novacaine block shot,, which covers a larger area. The target area for the needle is the size of a nickel, and my guy hit the edge of it- it deadened the area but also got a facial nerve so that I couldn’t close or blink one eye. My Dr said ‘ oh, that’s never happened before’ and had the other dentists come in for a look and they all were amused,

    Like

    Reply

    1. I have a very conscientious and thoughtful dentist with a wonderful staff-but I prefer not to visit them! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Mandy. I love you and your awesome monthly prayers! 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  13. Wonderfully told, Nancy. My kind of story. I’m sure the dentist and his assistant appreciated your sense of humor.

    Last week, I was eating something and I had a strange sensation in my mouth. Part of one of meeth had broken off. I’ve never had that happen before. I’m hoping my dental work goes smoother than yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oh my! Good luck to you with your broken tooth! My dentist and the dental staff are used to my nervous banter during my appointments. They just laugh about any crazy thing I say. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Peter. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  14. Absolutely hilarious recollection of a harrowing near death experience! Dr. Jaykle and Heidi huh? 😊
    Bravo Nancy ~ thank you for sharing this with me. Can hardly wait for your next masterpiece. DD ❣️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you for your positive feedback, Dodie! I appreciate your kindness and your wonderfully encouraging response. Hopefully, something much more fun will inspire my next story! I pray all is well with you and Jack. 🙂

      Like

      Reply

  18. **A relatable and engaging story that captures the anxiety many people feel before a dental visit. With honesty and a touch of humor, it reminds us that courage is often found in facing everyday fears.** 🦷💙✨

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  19. Nancy, love your humor about your dental appointment that so many of us dread. Your AI generated illustrations are perfect with your story. Glad you made it through the appointment with your sense of humor intact! 😂

    Like

    Reply

  20. Ah yes, those dentist appointments from hell. I had one when the dentist informed me that the wisdom tooth (or as my husband would say, my “wiz-DUMB tooth”) had one root wrapped around my jaw, and he had to remove it by chipping it away piece by piece. Back home on heavy-duty pain meds and barely able to lift my head, I watched my small children wanting to “help” by bringing me food and drinks and piling coloring books and crayons on the bed so I wouldn’t get bored. ❤ Sweet memory, but not one I’d like to repeat!

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment